Hi, I'm Kyle - a writer of queerotica, a transbear and kinky switch. Thanks for stopping by.Have questions? Email me at Kyle at Butchtastic.net.
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Tag Archives: hard emotions
I was lonely a thunderstorm stopped by to keep me company throwing jagged light and angry words when I could not voice them cold rain falling through warm air shadows all around but no one to throw them
For those of you following along from home, here’s an update on my state of mind and emotions. Early last week, I was having a prolonged panic/anxiety attack. Hence the password protected posts. I was in a very bad place, … Continue reading
I don’t know why I thought it would be easy to dive deep with therapy. I guess my internal shielding mechanisms have been functioning so well that I had no idea how much crap I had to work on. Turns … Continue reading
I’ve been feeling a new kind of disconnect or distance internally between myself and the current events that have been so triggering of late. I’ve been looking at that disconnection to understand it and find out if it’s a good … Continue reading
I’ve been struggling in the space between holding on and letting go. Not wanting to let go of what I used to have and also knowing I have to, that if I continue to hang on to this heavy grief … Continue reading
Another pause, another chance to catch my breath, another few days wondering when the next shoe will fall. I’ve had a hard couple of weeks, the lows like black holes I could barely escape even if I had all my … Continue reading
“My head is a bed of nails, comfortable for monsters, but beauty won’t stay” I posted that to one of my Facebook pages today, being so full of uncomfortable, negative thoughts and feelings that I knew I’d burst if I … Continue reading
Yesterday was remarkable because of what didn’t happen: no emotional shitstorms, no panic attacks. I woke up with the same anxious belly I’ve become accustomed to, worried that I’d step on a mine somewhere during the day and blow up. … Continue reading
Today is another angry day, stupid, self-damaging, fucked up, shitty anger. Where it started almost doesn’t matter, except it’s an incident I’d rather not repeat and in order to make that happen I have to get the cooperation of my … Continue reading