Category Archives: The Therapy Chronicles

Letting Go, Stopping the Endless Loop of Loss

I’ve been struggling in the space between holding on and letting go. Not wanting to let go of what I used to have and also knowing I have to, that if I continue to hang on to this heavy grief … Continue reading

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Pausing Again, Breathing a Little More Deeply

Another pause, another chance to catch my breath, another few days wondering when the next shoe will fall.  I’ve had a hard couple of weeks, the lows like black holes I could barely escape even if I had all my … Continue reading

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Happy (?) Friday

“My head is a bed of nails, comfortable for monsters, but beauty won’t stay” I posted that to one of my Facebook pages today, being so full of uncomfortable, negative thoughts and feelings that I knew I’d burst if I … Continue reading

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The Eighth Grade Knight Stands Alone

When I was in eighth grade, I became a knight.  I learned how to battle evil princesses, cruel princes and dragons of many shapes and sizes.  I learned how to use the tools of battle, learned how to make armor … Continue reading

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A Pause

Yesterday was remarkable because of what didn’t happen:  no emotional shitstorms, no panic attacks.  I woke up with the same anxious belly I’ve become accustomed to, worried that I’d step on a mine somewhere during the day and blow up. … Continue reading

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String of Increasingly Vicious Curse Words

Today is another angry day, stupid, self-damaging, fucked up, shitty anger.  Where it started almost doesn’t matter, except it’s an incident I’d rather not repeat and in order to make that happen I have to get the cooperation of my … Continue reading

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Pushing Myself

I was thinking last night that in all this opening that I’m doing – opening my mind, my heart, being open to situations that have made me uncomfortable, being vulnerable – I need to be aware of pushing too far, … Continue reading

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Healing Conversation

My wife and I had a conversation the other night, a ground-breaking, amazing conversation.  I ended up staying up late, which I paid for the next day in mindless exhaustion, but I’m glad we did it.  It started with her … Continue reading

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Touch

I had the most amazing massage the other night, and not a relaxation massage, this was a therapeutic massage which means I am walking around with sore spots all over from spots not so tenderly administered to. My massage guy … Continue reading

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I went walking

Today I went for a walk And I wanted to keep walking Walking away from cubicles and artificial light and artificial drama Away from people and machines Away from connection and responsibility Away from emotions. I was walking along, crying, … Continue reading

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