Category Archives: finding me

Healing Conversation

My wife and I had a conversation the other night, a ground-breaking, amazing conversation.  I ended up staying up late, which I paid for the next day in mindless exhaustion, but I’m glad we did it.  It started with her … Continue reading

Posted in exploring gender, finding me, genderqueer, relationships, slices of life, The Therapy Chronicles | Tagged , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

A Mother of a Day

The cracks have turned into jagged breaks and I’m ooozing out all over.  All the thoughts, feelings, impulses… messy, messy, messy… that I’ve been holding down for so long, are bursting out in an ugly tangle.  I guess that’s what … Continue reading

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My legs are strong, they can carry me My heart is strong, I will go on loving My chest rises and falls with each cleansing breath I am not alone, even when I am lonely and sad I have been … Continue reading

Posted in Affirmations, finding me, I'm taking the wheel, The Therapy Chronicles | Tagged , | 2 Comments

On Butch Identity, Masculinity and Being Intentional

mas·cu·lin·i·ty (msky-ln-t)  n. pl. mas·cu·lin·i·ties 1. The quality or condition of being masculine. 2. Something traditionally considered to be characteristic of a male. mas·cu·line (msky-ln)  adj. 1. Of or relating to men or boys; male. 2. Suggestive or characteristic of … Continue reading

Posted in butch/trans/genderqueer, butches, community, exploring gender, finding me, gender, gender non-conforming, genderqueer | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Livin’ the Butterfly Life

My brain was firing in random directions this morning, as it tends to do while I’m biking to or from work, and I came across an interesting way to think about the cyclic way I approach and experience change in … Continue reading

Posted in finding me, I'm taking the wheel, turn ons | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Clearing Baggage

There are days when I feel like I’m making progress, moving forward with my life and getting more healthy emotionally.  Then there are days like the ones recently where I feel like I must be on an elaborate treadmill, walking … Continue reading

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Attitude Transplant: Time to Be Awesome

In the post about my weekend away, I talked about how down and depressed, unhealthy and sick of it all I was and that I found a way to turn it all around.  Here’s what happened. After spending almost a … Continue reading

Posted in finding me, full of myself, slices of life, tired of this shit | Tagged , | 2 Comments


Another Buddy monologue, a bit from the novel-in-progress: I had become unsure of my place in the world.  Was I a woman who looked like a man and felt like one sometimes?  Was I a man trapped in a woman’s … Continue reading

Posted in finding me, gender, gender non-conforming, genderqueer, queer life, writing | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Unsure

No regrets…. well, maybe a couple

I try to live my life in such a way that I won’t be confronted by a long list of regrets in my last moments.  Nonetheless, I have plenty and can only hope to outnumber them with an even longer … Continue reading

Posted in finding me, my love, relationships | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments


It’s a thrashing day.  I’m flailing around internally, fighting myself, angry at myself.  I wish I could break things, throw jars and bottles and clocks — anything that would break dramatically — against concrete walls.  Just to see something break … Continue reading

Posted in finding me | Tagged | 3 Comments