Category Archives: finding me

“What is the worst that could happen?”

I’ve realized something recently, something about the way I handle my true truths and the way I reveal or hide them from others.  I’ve had a hard time opening up to some people in my life about what I really … Continue reading

Posted in butch/trans/genderqueer, exploring gender, finding me, gender, gender non-conforming, genderqueer, I'm taking the wheel, my genderqueer life, non-conforming gender presentation, The Therapy Chronicles, This Genderqueer LIfe, transgender | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

If You Knew Me…

Part of being a ‘public figure’ is that people tend to think they know you better than they actually do.  While it’s true that I put a lot of my real self into this blog and into my other online … Continue reading

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#GOconf2013, My Personal Gender Odyssey

One difference for me between this year’s Gender Odyssey conference and last year’s was that I spent a lot less time this year telling the story of my trans narrative.  Part of that is due to the workshops I attended, … Continue reading

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It Got Better

For those of you following along from home, here’s an update on my state of mind and emotions.  Early last week, I was having a prolonged panic/anxiety attack.  Hence the password protected posts.  I was in a very bad place, … Continue reading

Posted in finding me, I'm taking the wheel, relationships, slices of life, The Therapy Chronicles | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

My Idealistic Heart

Taking a walk today, in the cloudy sunshine, I felt the familiar pangs of grief starting up again and I looked onward to see who was raising the issue this time.  This is what I’ve been learning to do, to … Continue reading

Posted in finding me, my love, The Therapy Chronicles | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Pausing Again, Breathing a Little More Deeply

Another pause, another chance to catch my breath, another few days wondering when the next shoe will fall.  I’ve had a hard couple of weeks, the lows like black holes I could barely escape even if I had all my … Continue reading

Posted in finding me, it gets better, slices of life, The Therapy Chronicles | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

The Eighth Grade Knight Stands Alone

When I was in eighth grade, I became a knight.  I learned how to battle evil princesses, cruel princes and dragons of many shapes and sizes.  I learned how to use the tools of battle, learned how to make armor … Continue reading

Posted in finding me, gender non-conforming, genderqueer, slices of life, The Therapy Chronicles | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments

A Pause

Yesterday was remarkable because of what didn’t happen:  no emotional shitstorms, no panic attacks.  I woke up with the same anxious belly I’ve become accustomed to, worried that I’d step on a mine somewhere during the day and blow up. … Continue reading

Posted in finding me, relationships, The Therapy Chronicles | Tagged , | 1 Comment

String of Increasingly Vicious Curse Words

Today is another angry day, stupid, self-damaging, fucked up, shitty anger.  Where it started almost doesn’t matter, except it’s an incident I’d rather not repeat and in order to make that happen I have to get the cooperation of my … Continue reading

Posted in finding me, relationships, slices of life, The Therapy Chronicles, tired of this shit | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Pushing Myself

I was thinking last night that in all this opening that I’m doing – opening my mind, my heart, being open to situations that have made me uncomfortable, being vulnerable – I need to be aware of pushing too far, … Continue reading

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