Comments on: Gyne-Vestiphobia: Fear of Women’s Clothing

By: wq

wq — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 11:16:46 +0000

hey kyle! i happened to come across your post.
i guess i’ve had very similar situations in my life too. i’ve been feeling queer ever since i was 5 i guess?! does it sound crazy?

im a butch too, and only decided to come out to my friends when i was 16. thankfully i have rather supportive friends.

i take every piece of masculine item as a victory too so i totally agree with your second last paragraph. its nice to hear that someone out there thinks exactly like me.

now im 18, going 19. my parents are still in the dark about my sexuality, though they have suspected many times. well i’m living in an asian country and in an asian family, so being queer is not very well received at all. im not sure if you’ve shared about coming out but could you maybe contact me so we could share more? (:

By: pixie

pixie — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 15:15:24 +0000

awesome post Is really great how you can share and be honest about those kinda things, with all of us!

By: jesse james

jesse james — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 09:10:01 +0000

Great post Kyle. This is something that has always been a big and important issue for me that I haven’t spent enough time sorting through. When I am not stuck typing on my phone and in front of a real keyboard I will say more… But for now, thanks for bringing this up.

By: sweetspiced

sweetspiced — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 02:17:04 +0000

I wish you’d been around when I was navigating the pitfalls with my daughter. She definitely wore ties and I always encouraged her to dress how she felt, but there were so many more things she needed to figure out and I had no clue. Not that I was shocked when she told me she liked girls, but these feelings do start young and it’s so damn hard to define yourself when all around you people are telling you what you feel is wrong.

Roxy, I want to say I’m thankful for you and Kyle both. The two of you together make a wonderful team and you’ve taught me a lot.

Thank you Kyle for being willing to rip yourself apart and share the inside with us! *HUGE HUGS*

By: jeepjenn

jeepjenn — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 21:06:53 +0000

Love it! That’s exactly what my mom tried to do to me too! Dressy frilly girly things make me itch with distain!

She would dress me up when company was coming over, then I’d go outside, dig a hole, strip down, and bury my shameful clothes – and walk through the company naked! HAHAHAHAHA!

By: Blazer

Blazer — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 20:57:56 +0000

Back for a longer comment. A few years back I was forced to cross dress for a photo to appear in my company’s ad campaign. While I wasn’t the only one being photographed, all of our producer were as well, I felt incredible humiliation.

The ad campaign had a medieval theme, so the others looked at a silly costume party they were stuck with attending. They didn’t understand the pride I took in being able to say I had’t worn a dress in decades. What it meant when I finally had control of how I dressed and presented myself.

I longed to dress up in the armor or chain male but that would have been seen as cross dressing by everyone who saw the ad. Instead I was dressed as a bar wench which was, in fact, cross dressing to me.

That photo still runs in a trade journal 3 to 4 times a year. No one understands the stab in the gut I feel each time I see it. Sorry to be so windy.

By: Geek Porn Girl

Geek Porn Girl — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 19:48:22 +0000

I remember a butch friend telling me how her mom once forced her to wear a dress when she was in elementary school. She kept protesting, but her mom told her not to be silly, that she looked “cute”.

She spent the day in the restroom, humiliated and getting sick, refusing to come out, until the teachers discovered her and called her mom to come pick her up.”

I consider this to be absolute proof of nature vs. nurture. Some things in us are just bigger and badder than the way we were raised. We need to honor that in kids, in everybody.

Thanks for the honest post.

By: Rayne

Rayne — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 18:05:50 +0000

“Putting on those clothes meant I was supposed to behave differently, like a girl and specifically, the way my mother thought girls should behave.”

That’s how I’ve always felt about dresses. I am a rough and tumble girl and if I put on a dress, I feel like I have to sit, stand, walk like a lady. I can’t just drop what I’m doing and go climb a tree or play in the dirt (yes, I do still climb trees and play in the dirt).

Thanks for this post.

By: Ana

Ana — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 13:54:07 +0000

This is very sweet. Lots of hard thinking here, about who you are, and how you express it. It’s cool your mom gives you ties.

By: Blazer

Blazer — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 05:43:56 +0000

Kyle you ROCK!