Something I’m working on…
Jordan walked in and plopped herself down on my couch like she owned the place. Technically she did, she was my landlord, but I still glared at her until she pulled her dirty sneakered feet off my couch cushions.
“Why won’t you just date me? I’m telling you, that would be the solution to all your problems.”
I’d spent an hour talking to her on the phone about my dating dilemmas and she’d finally announced that she was on her way. Ten minutes later she came through the door with her grin and her leather jacket and a six pack of beer. And the solution to my problem, not that I hadn’t heard it before.
“I’m not going to date you, Jordan, we’ve been over this.”
“I know, you’re not sure what you want yet and you don’t want to risk our friendship and I’m your landlord, blah blah blah. Doesn’t mean we couldn’t have some fun while you look for your next Mrs. Right, Or Mister.” Jordan winked lewdly and grabbed my phone. “Let’s see who you’ve got here.”
I lunged for it, managing to knock over the coffee table, and her beer bottle, and landing heavily on top of her. She was partway on her side and I ended up straddling her hip.
Giving me a sideways look, she said, “You sure this is how you want to do it? Might be better if I roll over on my back…”
I gave her a dirty look and got up.
“Or my stomach, if that’s what you’re hoping for.” She rolled over and pumped her butt up and down in what I guess was an invitation.
I flopped back down in my recliner. “Dammit, Jordan, you’re not helping.”
“Because you won’t let me.” She took note of my expression and exhaled. “Okay, I’ll stop trying to seduce you for a moment. Let’s talk about the latest one, WideMouth, right?”
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