There are days when I just want to retreat into myself, hit the pause button and step off the treadmill for a bit. I want to sit and think without interruption, to sink into my own raw material and do nothing but breathe and follow the fickle trails of thought as they wind their way through memory and mindlessness.
It’s not that I want to be forgotten, or that I want the dear people in my life to feel I’ve abandoned them, it’s just that sometimes I need to have my own space. And why can’t I? I guess the standard answer is that there’s too much to do. I’m lashed to that treadmill by habit and duty. People depend on me, running away isn’t an option I can choose if I don’t want to hurt them. Not that I want to run away, mind you, just that there are times I need to step away.
The thing about treadmills is they literally have you travelling on the same pathway, over and over again. I need a new path.
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