Trans*date 12.10.2014: Growing…

I began taking testosterone on June 18th, today is my 176th day on T, almost 6 months.

The small scruffy beard I’ve had since my 30s is filling out and my butch mustache is getting thicker and darker.  Along my jawline the peach fuzz is now starting to show darker invaders, but they are very far and few still.

I have had a couple of hairs on the center of my chest for years but recently they’ve been joined by others, many others.  Still sparse and spread out but more and more visible.  And a bit itchy.

My voice is much lower now than it was before transition.  The voice log post I recently did illustrates that pretty well.  And speaking of lower, changes have happened below, too.  My clit is thickening and when I get turned on, I have a small erection.. small compared to cis male penises but huge compared to my pre-T butch erections.  Like, whoa.

Emotionally I feel great about transitioning.  My head is clear, I’m not tormented with questions about whether I should or shouldn’t.  The farther I go on this path, the better and more right it feels.

Physical transition is underway, but social transition has stalled a bit.  A friend of mine expressed surprise that I wasn’t using men’s rooms yet.  I explained that at work I can use a single stall unisex bathroom and other wise I work at home.  In the evening, when I’m out at bars and such, I haven’t yet felt like I wanted to take the step of switching.  He’s a trans guy, many years into his transition, and he reassured me that most of the time, guys won’t even pay any attention.  I know that the real issue is my internal resistance. I guess I just need to decide to cut over and do it.

Of all the steps I’ve taken, that one intimidates me the most.


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One Response to Trans*date 12.10.2014: Growing…

  1. Everett says:

    Other people don’t get to tell you how to transition. Take your own path, be honest with yourself, do what works for you.

    Thank you, Ev. My friend wasn’t judging me, just surprised based on his own excitement to start using men’s rooms when he started his transition. I reminded him that I don’t identify as male or female, so using the men’s room hasn’t really been on my top list of ‘Benefits of Transition’. That said, I am feeling internal pressure because of a growing discomfort in presenting more and more male while using the women’s rooms. You know how chatty women’s rooms can be, especially in the evening at bars? I’ve always been comfortable with that but now I’m noticing that I’m speaking less, feeling more self-conscious about how deep my voice is.. K

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