Yeah, I know, I’m a big ol’ lazy slacker. I’ve been neglecting my blog and neglecting you all. It’s not that I haven’t thought about blogging, it’s just that I’m so busy living there doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day. Plus my work responsibilities are expanding so I don’t have as much free time during day.
As the Oregon Girl puts it, I’ve been busy sucking the marrow of life, so busy I don’t have much time to write about it. Yes, I have and, wow, is it tasty. There are a bunch of things I want to write about, but we’re going to start with OG because I’m fresh off an amazing weekend with her and I’d love to tell you all about it.
Well, most about it, there are a lot of moments I’m going to keep private.
So first of all, I gotta tell you, my Oregon Girl is pretty special. I can honestly say that I’ve never met anyone like her. She fits me so well, she fits me in ways I’d only dreamed were possible. I keep thinking I know how good she is for me only to find something new. I’m in love with her and she’s in love with me and it’s pretty damned amazing.
We spent this last weekend together at her place in Oregon, along a beautiful river. We ate lots of great food, had fantastic sex and spent a lot of time hanging onto a floatie, naked in a cold river pool, watching salmon jump for insects. It was the kind of getaway I crave during my hectic busy days in suburbia. I crave her, too, crave the connections we’ve found in each other and the endless depths we are still exploring. Yeah, I’m super in love with her and if you give me a drink and your ear, I’ll gush about her until you are sick of hearing about it.
She challenges me and inspires me. She’s got some heavy life experiences, stuff that could crush a person but it hasn’t crushed her. She’s strong, strong enough to hold me up and let me float free, strong enough to embrace my conflicts and my struggles. And I get to be strong for her, too. Strong enough to hold her when she’s overwhelmed, strong enough to be gentle when that’s what she needs most. She challenges me in the best ways: to be as authentic and real as I can be. She sees all of me and loves all of me and I do the same for her. I’m blown wide open right now, I’m leaking out and getting messy but she just smiles and holds as much as I give her.
It was beautiful this weekend, not just because I’m head over heels in love but because it was close to 90 degrees and we had a chunk of beautiful river all to ourselves. For the first time in my life, I skinny dipped. She’s a skinny dip enabler, my mermaid girl, and even though it was broad daylight, there was no one around but us and I couldn’t think of any good reasons not to get naked in the water with her. The water was briskly cold at first but pretty soon it felt ‘just like regular’.
We floated and talked and had some intense moments. We haven’t even spent two handfuls of days together yet, but our connection is deep and the energy we have between us is amazing. Holding her hand or looking into her eyes hits me deep. We’re on the same page most of the time and when we are physically together, and away from the stress of every day life, we are in sync in a way I’ve never experienced with anyone.
I brought my guitar and played for her, though I’m not ready for prime time, she was very encouraging and having my guitar there for whenever the mood struck me was really nice. I also read something to her, something I’d written about us, while she made dinner. And, Oh this is awesome, she has coloring books and really nice colored pencils and we had a blast Saturday evening coloring together.
Really, I could be doing anything with her and I would be a very happy guy. Coloring, skinny dipping, shopping at Safeway, cleaning up, whatever it is, if we did it together, I’d have a great time.
She spoils me rotten, feeds me like a king and loves me up thoroughly. She encourages me, she forgives me when I hurt her feelings, she shows me sides of her that she doesn’t normally expose and that leads me to open up even more to her.
She asked me to sing to her and I do love to sing. I’ll jump on stage and grab a mic and put on a performance but with her, I felt shy. It’s not just that my voice is changing and I’m still getting used to it, it’s that singing to an audience brings out my exhibitionist, it’s easy. Singing to someone I love, one-on-one, is terrifying. And wonderful. And super intimate, peeling back more layers and dropping guards I’ve spent a lifetime holding up. I sang to her, I made love to her with my voice and it was a wonderful thing. I still feel shy about it, but I know it’ll get easier.
We’re building trust with each other, little by little, layering on experiences and stumbles and generosity and understanding and more love. And it just gets better. We haven’t come close to an end point to how interested we are in each other. When she tells me how she sees the world, and what she wants from life and how she sees me fitting into it, I fall in love even more. My life is better with her in it and I believe her when she tells me that her life is improved as well. We’re both plenty strong and independent and we don’t need the other to save us and I think that’s a big part of why this works. She doesn’t need me to rescue her – she likes it when I sweep the cobwebs away and split the wood for our fire, but she doesn’t need me to do it. And as much as I have spent most of my romantic life playing the hero, I am done with that role. At least in the swashbuckling, hop on my steed little darlin’, kind of way. I want equals in my relationships, and sometimes I want to be rescued, too.
She tells me I’m the kind of feminist man she wants in her life, and I’m very proud of that. And also grateful. There was more than one time this weekend when I said “And I wouldn’t have gotten to this point with that if it hadn’t been for Roxy”. And a couple of other times I gave a shout out to Neighbor Femme. I am the beneficiary of some very good training and help given to me by people who love me. And now because of the cumulative experiences in my life, I am in the midst of an amazing love affair with a wonderful amazing woman. Gods, I’m a lucky guy.
OK, I could go on and on and on. Let’s call this part 1 of a billion and I’ll call it quits for one night. There’s a lot more to write about on the subject of my Oregon Girl. There are other subjects to write about as well, for example, my sweet Hippy Goddess and my kids and my wife and my job and my …. fill in the blank with something I haven’t written about enough lately.
Goodnight. Sleep well, dream well, wake well.
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