End of October Update

Tons going on lately… are you ready?

Date Number 2 with Ruby!  We’ve been heating things up over the interwebs and she’s now promising to pounce on me this Saturday.  YES!  We’re going to have dinner and drinks at various places in Downtown Oly before being in public becomes too much for us and we retreat to a private location to satiate our animal desires.  Plus the kissing, lots of kissing.. omg.. so happy this is happening.  If you’re somewhere in this area on Saturday and into Sunday and you feel a distant rumble and some shaking, don’t be alarmed.. it’s just a Lustquake centered on our hotel room.

NaNoWriMo Warning:  as if I haven’t been sporadic enough with my posts, it’s almost November and I’ve decided to undertake the annual masochistic exercise known as National Novel Writing Month… I’m doing it as a rebel this year, since I’ll be working on my existing novel-in-progress rather than starting from scratch.  If I come up with good stuff, I’ll post a bit of it here.

Long Distance Loving:  I am in the midst of a passionate, loving and flirtatious affair with the one I call SexyLadyFriend.  She and I have found so many ways we are compatible, it’s truly miraculous.  Thank you, Universe.  The only problem is she’s thousands of miles away… sigh.  Even with that, we’re having a lot of fun getting to know each other better and encouraging each other in this crazy game called life.  Also, she writes damn sexy stories… mmmmrrrrrourrr.  Looking forward to more and more with you, m’dear.

Suburban Butch Dad Report:  Kids.. they grow, they get sassy, they are lovable at times.. other times the screeching and snark is enough to make you want to pack them up and take them to the Return Counter.  On the plus side, both of my spawn are healthy and thriving.  Elder Spawn plays soccer like a tough nut fallen directly out of my tree, plays violin in the school orchestra, has straight As and is beloved by all of her teachers.  She is passionate about reading, writing, music, art (sketch books get filled on a regular basis), anime/manga and her girlfriend.  Yes, girlfriend.  She met a girl at Girl Scout camp last summer and the two of them hit it off.  They live an hour apart, which means they don’t get to see each other very often (can relate to that) but they maintain communication via phone and their various online habitats.

The Little Bit is less little all the time — it’s not uncommon for her to grow a half an inch in a couple of months.  Though her orientation may not be determined for a while, it’s clear that Femme is a big part of her identity.  From her individualistic fashion choices, to her ‘where did you learn that’ poses, not to mention her extremely skillful manipulation of the butches in her life (starting with, but not exclusively, me) and her propensity for drama, she’s a little Femme in the making.   Oh, and you should see her go nuts about shoes!  She looked at a picture of Disney princesses once, with only their upper halves showing and mourned out loud that she couldn’t see what shoes they were wearing.  She is still hell on wheels (or heels, actually) sometimes, but I know she’ll grow out of that.  She’s also super affectionate, creative,  silly and, according to the Doc, cognitively 2 years ahead of her peers… which means, her kindergarten teacher will have her hands full.

Mrs. Kyle:  My relationship with my wife is really, really going well.  We’ve worked through a lot of changes in the past year, taken on issues that had been put off for far too long and learned a lot about each other and ourselves.  I am feeling stronger in our relationship than I have in a long while.  My friendship with Nick has also grown stronger and the three of us continue to communicate and love each other like the family we are.  My belief in poly was tested last year but I know now, having gotten through my insecurities, fears and panics about my wife and Nick, as well as the break up with Roxy, and moving into new relationships and new emotional and physical frontiers, that I am for sure, 100%, without a doubt polyamorous.

Roxy:  I still have days where the pain of our break up hits me like an open flame to my insides, however, I have many more days where I can recognize the gift we gave each other through our relationship, a gift of love that feels warm and loving and constant.  She is still my best friend, a love of my life who I will always cherish and adore.  We don’t have as much time to talk and share everything the way we used to (part of that is my doing, as she indicated in her post… there are others now who are getting slices of my attention pie.  I am grateful to her for understanding that this is also a part of my much needed self-care).  I will forever be astonished and struck-dumb by my luck in meeting her, in the way we fell in love with each other and the power and impact of our connection.  There is simply no replacing her, ever.

Yoga, meditation, self-care:  I have gotten back into yoga practice and remember why I was so into it years back when I was last a regular practitioner.  I have finally come out of a time period where my faith in myself was shaken to the core, when I felt myself fracturing into countless tiny pieces arguing among themselves and had anxiety and panic attacks that had me worrying about my physical safety.  I came back to yoga in pursuit of a healthier mind-body connection, guided meditation and a better awareness of my truth and my purpose in this life.  Maybe that’s a bit woo-woo for you, but that’s part of who I am.  Self-care right now includes yoga, getting enough sleep, taking time-outs to refresh (reading, writing, meditating, spacing out) and reaching out to my friends and loved ones regularly.  In yoga, one of the lessons is that you can’t muscle your way through the poses.  You need strength, but it’s not only physical in nature.  In yoga, as in many aspects of life, the goal is achieved by letting go, breathing into the present moment and letting go of the next moment.  This kind of letting go requires an inner strength that I recognize from D/s, from submitting and finding strength in that submission.

That’s all for now, my friends.  I’m working on a Daddy/girl story that has me very excited and inspired.  Hoping to have that done before I plunge into NaNoWriMo.

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3 Responses to End of October Update

  1. Wendi Kali says:

    All good things! Good luck with NaNoWriMo!

  2. Ani says:

    Ouch. Femme does not equal drama.

    I understand that butches are also dramatic, likewise others. I’m basing those comments on the comments of the Femmes I know who’ve met my daughter and have pointed out various characteristics and proclaimed her a mini-Femme. I understand that your experience, and the experience of others is different. K

  3. Ani says:

    Oh and femme as minipulative is hurtful too.

    see my response to your previous comment. thank you, K

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