I went walking

Today I went for a walk
And I wanted to keep walking

Walking away from cubicles and artificial light and artificial drama

Away from people and machines

Away from connection and responsibility

Away from emotions.

I was walking along, crying, talking to myself, tears streaming down my face, only half caring what I must look like

If I keep walking maybe I won’t care at all

If I keep walking maybe I’ll find silence, solitude

If I keep walking maybe I can walk away from my tears, away from the relentlessness of my emotions.

Maybe I can walk away from myself.

If I stopped remembering what I’ve lost would that being me relief? Or would it bother me like a phantom limb I wasn’t quite sure I’d ever had?

If I waked far enough would the voices in my head run out of things to say?

If I walked far enough …

Maybe I could just lie down and cease

No more breathing through it.
No more feeling my feelings.
No more acting strong when I don’t feel strong.
No more needing anyone.
No more being needed.

If my head is completely empty, will I care about the other emptiness?

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