Change Never Stays The Same

Those of you following from home know that a lot of change and turmoil has rolled through my life this year.  Changes to my relationship with Roxy have been really hard on both of us but we remain committed to loving and supporting each other and keeping lines of communication open and honest.

It was through that promise of openness and honesty that she made a request the other day that instantly brought tears to my eyes.  She asked to be released from My collar, to dissolve our Daddy/girl relationship.  She did so for the best reasons, based on her need to find her strength and independence.  She talks more about it in her post, My Undoing.

I won’t lie and say it was easy to grant her request because it wasn’t and not because it wasn’t worthy, because it definitely was.  It was hard and painful because it was a piece of the structure we had built together that was being removed and placed squarely into our past.  It was hard because it is another change on top of all the changes we’ve been through.  I felt destabilized and really sad about it.  I’m still sad about it and I’m also certain it was the right thing to do.

According to my stats, two of my most popular posts are the two I wrote about collaring her as my girl, Taking her as My girl and  Collaring My Girl, The Ceremony.  Seeing those titles pop up in my stats always made me smile, because of the memories I revisited.  Lately, however, when I see those titles my smile is bittersweet and framed with damp eyes.  I’m looking forward to a time in the future when it will once again be a smile without tears, a smile that remembers a very precious wonderful time in our lives without so much sadness.

In order to get to that place, I’m going to keep these words in mind, from her post, because my love is about giving her what I can in order to help her get to where she wants to be:

I don’t do this to forget, and I don’t do this to escape.  I do this as a symbol of the strength I am still working to manifest.

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