Conversations with the Voice in my Head

voice:  this is hard

me:  mmhmm… yeah, I won’t argue with that.

voice:  I hate having to be an adult sometimes, can’t we go back to just grabbing what we want and not caring about anyone else?

me: ‘go back’?  Were we ever like that?

voice: *furrowed brow*

me: yeah, that’s what I thought.  Nope, this is how it is.  We have to be adults and do adult stuff even  if it’s really hard.  Even when it breaks our heart and we want to hide from the world.

voice: yeah

me:  but you know, there’s a plus side.

voice (hopeful): there is?

me: sure! The plus side is that if we are adults, the people we love will trust us and know they can rely on us.  Which is a good thing, since we want them to stay in our life.  We have to love big, or hide forever.  We don’t want to hide forever.

voice: no… we’d be lonely and our hands would get tired.

me (shaking head and rolling eyes):  yes, we’d be lonely.  It really is hard for you to be an adult, isn’t it?

voice: hey, man, I’m an adult who needs sexual release.  Don’t be slut shaming me.

me (nodding): OK, OK, you’re right.  Let’s just agree to be adult about our slutting.

voice: *fist bump*

me:  we should write about this weekend, huh?

voice:  we should, might help us make sense of it all.

me: yeah, it usually does.

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