Suburban Butch Dad Report: ElderSpawn Keeps Her Options Open

I had a very quick conversation with my ElderSpawn a couple of mornings ago about some rumors going around about her.  This is the first I’d heard and I wanted to dig deeper into it, but she was literally on her bike ready to pedal away as she mentioned it.

She heard from a friend that some people are saying that because her parents are gay (sic), she must be as well.  Thinking quickly, I responded, “Well, my parents were both straight, but I’m not, so it doesn’t matter what your parents’ sexual orientation is, you are who you are.”

“And, ” I continued, “You have two gay parents but you’re straight.”

“So far, mom” she said it very seriously and with a tone of admonishment.

And there I was, caught with my assumptions down.

I smiled and hugged her, “That’s right, honey, so far.  And no matter who you are and what you decide about yourself, it’s up to you and doesn’t depend on who your parents are.  Have a great day at school, honey, I love you.”

And then she was on her way.  I stood watching her pedal off with her friend, thinking that even if she didn’t get sexual orientation from me, she did get a wonderfully open mind and the feeling of security to leave her own options open.

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4 Responses to Suburban Butch Dad Report: ElderSpawn Keeps Her Options Open

  1. m says:

    I haven’t seen a whole lot about it, but the phenomenon of “second generation queer” is really fascinating to me. (And I’ve encountered people in a wide variety of second-generation queer situations.) Being raised by, or being birthed by, queer parents definitely doesn’t make someone queer. But there’s some amount of flexibility in human sexuality, and kids raised by queer parents are perhaps more likely to be open to non-straight sexual orientations from the start.

  2. e says:

    What a great kid you are raising! That made me a little verklempt…

  3. Roxy says:

    She really is wonderful, and a testament to the open and loving way you’ve raised her. Congratulations, love. 🙂

  4. Victoria says:

    I grew up with gay parents too, and more than one boy I dated would wonder if I was too…and I was, though I didn’t know it for a while.

    The thing is, because my parents were gay, the fact that a girl crush Was different didn’t even occur to me. It was normal because I grew up with it, so it took me a while to ‘get’ it.

    This generation of kids is the first one to have fully out parents. I can’t wait to see what the world looks like when they’re our age. 🙂

    thank you 🙂 I do like how open minded she is and that we’ve created a safe zone for her to explore and to discuss within – K

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