Alrighty then. Â After all this pondering energy and blockages and what I can do about it, it’s time to get pragmatic. Â What am I gonna do, and how do I propose to do it?
Before removing blockages, I must identify them as specifically as possible. Â I’ve long dreamed and visualized the perfect environment for me to write and create in. Â Given that I still don’t have a writer’s cabin in my back yard, or even a consistently quiet place in the house, what else can I do to improve my environment and increase my creative productivity? Â If I can’t create the perfect environment, I can at least improve my tools. Â I’m going to put a larger (5x) hard drive on this laptop and upgrade to Windows 7. Â That may not sound like a big deal, but those changes will improve its performance and usability and that will make me a happier camper. Â [I just ordered the new hard drive, so I should be able to complete this goal in the coming two weeks]
Other blockages concern tasks that I’ve had on my list for way too long. Â One of those is organizing my digital photos. Â I’ve got them in too many locations and they’re not organized as well as they could be. Â I get so frustrated trying to find pictures sometimes, hours can go down the rabbit hole in the process. Â Related to that, I need to organize and catalog my writing. Â I’ve got stories published and unpublished, some stand alone and some are part of a series with the same characters. Â I’ve got some in Google docs, some on my hard drive, some as draft posts on this blog. Â Some of them are in multiple places. Â I need to list, categorize and version control all of it so I know what is in progress, what could be submitted for publication, etc.
In an earlier post I was talking about the way grudges and disagreements can bind up my energy. Â I need to work on a method to counteract that. Â My notes say ‘breathe, disengage, don’t form grudges with people who don’t get it’. Â That means I need to catch myself in the act more quickly until eventually I don’t react most of the time.
All of this is to make myself more capable of enjoying life and being successful with the plans I’m making for the coming year. Â Making specific, measurable goals is definitely the right way to go, so here are a few of those for the coming year:
Get published (again): Â I was published twice in 2011, my goal this year is at least 4 times. Â I’m hoping two of those will be in Salacious magazine, so I need to scour the calls for submission to see what else I can get into. Â Oh, and there’s also SEAF to try for again this year (calls for artistic submission Feb 1 – Mar 10, 2012, festival dates across two weekends in June,Â June 16/17 and June 22/23/24).
Blog regularly: get back on the horse, so to speak and blog at least a couple of times a week with some gender, family life and/or erotic story for my readers.
Work on longer-term writing projects: Â I’ve got some stories that I think could be turned into novels and I’d like to get back into the habit of working on them.
Attend Gender Odyssey (Aug 2-5, 2012): Â I’ve heard so many good things about this conference from friends, I definitely want to be there this year.
Go to Folsom with Roxy (Sept 23rd, 2012): Â I hated missing it last year, after the awesome time we had in 2010. Â Definitely want to make it happen for us this year.
Continue to explore D/s with Roxy, going deeper and further than we have before, exploring edges and crossing them
Continue exploring my gender, and my male-to-male sexuality: Â I’ve been in communication with a Dom in Seattle, a trans guy who feels very compatible and who I think I’d have some fun with. Â Roxy knows about him and approves and is encouraging, but even so, I feel shy about it, and somewhat guilty about planning to play outside our relationship. Â On the other hand, I really need to get out more. Â I know no one will ever replace my Sir any more than my Sir will ever find another boy like me.
Pull my ever-growing group of genderqueer friends together and form a genderqueer discussion/social group for the Olympia area.
Continue to find ways to be the change I want to see in this world. Â That means directly helping queer and queer-allied youth. Â That means making the most of opportunities to educate people on gender non-conformity, transgender issues and being as out and open about my gender identity as I can be. Â It means if I see something that needs to be done, I’ll do it if I can and if not, I’ll find someone who will. Â It means I will do my best to communicate, build bridges, find commonality and create allyship with other people and organizations.
Get off my ass and start a local writer’s group (I have an ally in my friend Chole, we’ve been talking about this for a while).
And, of course, there are always other projects and tasks that I want to accomplish, but these are close to my heart as a writer and genderqueer activist, and a kinkster and a sexual, masochistic adventurer. Â Thanks for letting me meander through all this with you all, somehow it helps to believe I have a group of people I’m communicating all this with.
Happy New Year, Kyle
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