Alrighty then. After all this pondering energy and blockages and what I can do about it, it’s time to get pragmatic. What am I gonna do, and how do I propose to do it?
Before removing blockages, I must identify them as specifically as possible. I’ve long dreamed and visualized the perfect environment for me to write and create in. Given that I still don’t have a writer’s cabin in my back yard, or even a consistently quiet place in the house, what else can I do to improve my environment and increase my creative productivity? If I can’t create the perfect environment, I can at least improve my tools. I’m going to put a larger (5x) hard drive on this laptop and upgrade to Windows 7. That may not sound like a big deal, but those changes will improve its performance and usability and that will make me a happier camper. [I just ordered the new hard drive, so I should be able to complete this goal in the coming two weeks]
Other blockages concern tasks that I’ve had on my list for way too long. One of those is organizing my digital photos. I’ve got them in too many locations and they’re not organized as well as they could be. I get so frustrated trying to find pictures sometimes, hours can go down the rabbit hole in the process. Related to that, I need to organize and catalog my writing. I’ve got stories published and unpublished, some stand alone and some are part of a series with the same characters. I’ve got some in Google docs, some on my hard drive, some as draft posts on this blog. Some of them are in multiple places. I need to list, categorize and version control all of it so I know what is in progress, what could be submitted for publication, etc.
In an earlier post I was talking about the way grudges and disagreements can bind up my energy. I need to work on a method to counteract that. My notes say ‘breathe, disengage, don’t form grudges with people who don’t get it’. That means I need to catch myself in the act more quickly until eventually I don’t react most of the time.
All of this is to make myself more capable of enjoying life and being successful with the plans I’m making for the coming year. Making specific, measurable goals is definitely the right way to go, so here are a few of those for the coming year:
Get published (again): I was published twice in 2011, my goal this year is at least 4 times. I’m hoping two of those will be in Salacious magazine, so I need to scour the calls for submission to see what else I can get into. Oh, and there’s also SEAF to try for again this year (calls for artistic submission Feb 1 – Mar 10, 2012, festival dates across two weekends in June, June 16/17 and June 22/23/24).
Blog regularly: get back on the horse, so to speak and blog at least a couple of times a week with some gender, family life and/or erotic story for my readers.
Work on longer-term writing projects: I’ve got some stories that I think could be turned into novels and I’d like to get back into the habit of working on them.
Attend Gender Odyssey (Aug 2-5, 2012): I’ve heard so many good things about this conference from friends, I definitely want to be there this year.
Go to Folsom with Roxy (Sept 23rd, 2012): I hated missing it last year, after the awesome time we had in 2010. Definitely want to make it happen for us this year.
Continue to explore D/s with Roxy, going deeper and further than we have before, exploring edges and crossing them
Continue exploring my gender, and my male-to-male sexuality: I’ve been in communication with a Dom in Seattle, a trans guy who feels very compatible and who I think I’d have some fun with. Roxy knows about him and approves and is encouraging, but even so, I feel shy about it, and somewhat guilty about planning to play outside our relationship. On the other hand, I really need to get out more. I know no one will ever replace my Sir any more than my Sir will ever find another boy like me.
Pull my ever-growing group of genderqueer friends together and form a genderqueer discussion/social group for the Olympia area.
Continue to find ways to be the change I want to see in this world. That means directly helping queer and queer-allied youth. That means making the most of opportunities to educate people on gender non-conformity, transgender issues and being as out and open about my gender identity as I can be. It means if I see something that needs to be done, I’ll do it if I can and if not, I’ll find someone who will. It means I will do my best to communicate, build bridges, find commonality and create allyship with other people and organizations.
Get off my ass and start a local writer’s group (I have an ally in my friend Chole, we’ve been talking about this for a while).
And, of course, there are always other projects and tasks that I want to accomplish, but these are close to my heart as a writer and genderqueer activist, and a kinkster and a sexual, masochistic adventurer. Thanks for letting me meander through all this with you all, somehow it helps to believe I have a group of people I’m communicating all this with.
Happy New Year, Kyle
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