… and I’m here to be used.
I was at the Blood, Sweat and Queers party, sneaking text messages to her, letting her know the situation, how I was doing, trying to overcome my nerves. Â I told her I was working my way up to introducing myself to people, since the folks I was supposed to connect with weren’t there yet. Â She suggested the above introduction as a way get the proper attention *grin*. Â Later, she told me she was surprised I’d actually done it, but she should know better, I love a challenge, and I love performance and that introduction involved both.
So yeah, I did, believe it or not. Â I walked up to one of the butchest, toughest looking, closely buzz cut Tops in the room — the old school kind with a thick leather band on the left wrist and a black bandana neatly tucked into the left pocket of their jeans — and introduced myself
Hi, I’m Kyle and I’m here to be used
Well, that certainly got their attention, eyes widened as they took in both the words and the sincerity of my intention. Â I believe they were flattered, and a little surprised, maybe bottoms aren’t usually this bold? (ya think, Sherlock?). Â The Top told me they were waiting for their co-top to arrive and that they didn’t have a set plan, but would keep me in mind and thanked me for making myself available.
I’d already been mingling a bit, found one friend-of-a-friend who’d introduced me to some other folks there. Â The way you signaled your availability for pick-up play was by wearing a glow-in-the-dark bracelet. Â Left for bottoms, right for tops, somewhere in the middle for switches. Â Though I’m a switch, I wasn’t as interested in topping someone else that night, so I put my orange bracelet on my right wrist, alongside the leather band I wear for my Sir. Â (bonus points if you know what Orange signifies).
I wasn’t the only right wrist flagger by a long shot. Â There were far less Tops seeking bottoms, and even less that fit the demographic I was specifically targeting: trans guys, hard butches, masculine cis-men.
I eventually found another friend, Lissa, the Center’s volunteer coordinator. Â She apologized for being late and introduced me to her wife and Dom, Sterling. Â I used that same introduction on Sterling and a couple of others Lissa introduced me to. Â I got chuckles, appraising looks and the reassurance that if I was looking to be used, and so open about it, I should have no problem finding someone to use me.
Unfortunately, I didn’t find someone, or get found. Â No use and abuse that night, no beatings, good or otherwise, no queer fuckery… sigh.. but overall,Â I had a pretty good time at the BSQ party. Â It was really crowded, really hot, even with the volunteer staff doing their best to funnel cool air throughout the facility. Â It was also unofficially the Gender Odyssey play party and there was a lot of gender non-conformist eye candy to be enjoyed.
Even though it was crowded, and lots of people seemed happy to sit and visit or watch people as they milled about, there were some good scenes going on:
A suspension scene involving 3 people in the center of a crowded space
A long scene involving a couple that started at the beginning of the party, and continued in stages over the course of the night. Â As I was leaving around midnight, they were still at it, in a different location. Â Wow. Â Envious.
A scene involving two transmasculine Doms and their boys. Â Punching, caning, poking, smacking, punching, and repeat. Â Once the scene was over, they were seated in one of the conversation nooks, and I got a little green with envy at the boy sitting at the feet of his Sir. Â I love that, sitting at Her feet after a scene… the adoration between the two of them was so palpable it made me ache.
All sorts of scenes involving all kinds of queer people. Â It was wonderful to watch, hard to be outside of. Â Before the evening was over, I was able to visit with friends who’d come over from Gender Odyssey, made some new friends and generally tried to charm and engage with as many people as I could. Â I’m counting this evening as a success because I did it. Â I went solo and stayed and didn’t decorate a wall the whole time. Â I networked and introduced myself and got involved in conversations. Â I hope I made a good impression, because I want to come back up for other parties. Â (In fact, one of the friends-of-my-friend offered to help me set something up next time, and I think that means I did OK). Â Not surprisingly, a lot of these people know each other and I was a new person on the scene. Â I’m hoping thatÂ next time I go up, I won’t be the mystery queer.
Or if I am, I’ll be intriguing and someone will be bold enough to take me up on my offer,
Hi, I’m Kyle and I’m here to be used…
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