Butch Voices weekend.. wow

Wow, what a weekend.  Community, controversy, energy, exhaustion, conversation, adrenaline, hopefulness, affirmation… I’m overwhelmed still, and might be for a few days.  The sessions were great, the socializing was awesome.  So much good food, good conversation, catching up with old friends, making new ones.

Last night was hard.  The conference drop hit hard, but even harder was the leaving-my-lover drop.  Lots of tears, lots of anger and frustration over the necessity of leaving.  And this morning, they send me pictures of us, in love, involved, and it helps a lot.  Seeing Roxy‘s smile, seeing their joy in being with me, that’s what helps me get through the long weeks apart.  We had a lot of sexy, hot, passionate sex and play.  We kissed as much as we could, but now I wish we’d kissed more.  We held hands and walked everywhere, even though that was a risky, dangerous, transgressive thing to do in downtown Oakland.  We did it together and it felt good.

We danced.  Danced like we were making love.  Danced with so much joy, Roxy was floating all night.  When we’re together, we’re together in such a passionate, unapologetic way, it’s beautiful and powerful and magical and I will never get enough of it.

There is so much I want to tell y’all about the conference and my time with Roxy but for now I need to get through this drop.  I’m exhausted and full of revelations and new things to incorporate into my life and I miss my lover like an ache that won’t ever stop.

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