Perverting Pretty Pink Petals

I was sitting outside, eating lunch and chatting with Roxy when my gaze fell upon a blooming rhododendron bush.  I don’t remember if I giggled out loud, but I mentioned to her that I was having some lewd thoughts about those flowers.

They were beautifully colored, from a deep, party-girl pink to a pale-almost-white on the furthest, inner reaches.  They looked like can-can dancers, lifting their petticoats as they swirled by.  I couldn’t help but want to peek under those skirts to see how far the pink went.  Roxy proclaimed me a flower pervert, though she had a fancy French term for it that I don’t remember now.

Is that so wrong?  To pervert the ordinary with such ease and pleasure?  To my eyes, snap dragons are blatantly sexual, with their lurid, outstretched tongues making promises that’d get you a mouth-washing with soap if you said them out loud around your mother.  I can’t be the only one who drawn in by the velvety soft, yet stiff, petals of a rose, modestly folding in on herself but inviting my nose with her sweet, sexy smell.  Look at paintings by Georgia O’Keeffe and tell me I’m alone in recognizing the barely civilized sexuality of those brightly colored and sweetly scented blossoms.  My favorite are lilies, especially the Tiger lilies with their maddeningly sweet come-hither scent.  Looking isn’t enough, smelling from afar just draws me in, eyes half closed, nose forward, until I’ve gone too far and my nose must wear the evidence of my indiscretion for all to see.

Hi, I’m Kyle and I’m a very happily unrepentant floral pervert.


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4 Responses to Perverting Pretty Pink Petals

  1. Roxy says:

    When you shared your rhododendron lust with me on the phone, I was floored – you’re no part-time pervert, you’re the real deal, and that’s sexy as hell. It takes a man with the heart of a poet and the cock of a degenerate of the highest order to lust after the thighs of a flower, and, for that, I have deep respect and adoration.

    Thank you for seeing the ripeness in every moment, love.

    and I adore you for loving all of my degenerate pervertedness. You celebrate it, encourage it and inspire it, and for that, I am eternally grateful … and horny – K

  2. e says:

    It makes sense because that’s what flowers are for. They are the plants sex parts!

    😀 true, very true, but how often do people get turned on looking at them? Maybe it’s not as uncommon as I thought – K

  3. Amber says:

    “a man with the heart of a poet and the cock of a degenerate of the highest order”

    HA! That was awesome.

    She is very good 🙂

  4. Lyn says:

    *blushing* agree with Amber! Can’t possibly like that sentence more than I do! The whole page, really..

    Well, as you go about your day, don’t forget to pause and smell the flowers occasionally… I’m sure they don’t mind – K

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