Wow. Two years. When I started I was pretty starry-eyed about the whole sex blogging thing. I’m not so much jaded about it now, but I understand this part of the bloggosphere much better. And I’m not sure I’m really a sex blogger anymore, but I’m certainly not just a sex blogger. I remember being so thrilled about sex toy reviews, getting toys sent to me so I could use them and write about them.. total win. I still review sex toys, but less frequently, preferring to do them less often so I can put more time into them.
It seems like I used to write about sex more often. I still write erotic fiction and non-fiction, but that writing has to share the space with stories about my family, my gender identity explorations, posts about polyamory and relationships. My readership has increased, but comments are less frequent, leaving me to wonder
What hasn’t changed is my passion for blogging about my life and all the rich, interesting, flavorful things that are happening in it. I always have a list of topics to write about and the characters from my stories are constantly raising their hands for attention. I need to find the time to sit down and look at Butchtastic and think about ways to improve what and how I’m delivering. And I’d really like to find better/easier ways to get feedback from my readers.
Some highlights from the past two years of Butchtastic and beyond:
Meeting my love, Roxy, via Twitter. You might be thinking, that’s Twitter, not your blog, but it’s all connected. I was on Twitter because so many of the bloggers I was reading and getting to know were on Twitter. I was there to meet people, make connections and promote Butchtastic. It was a high, cocky time for me and I flirted outrageously with anyone who’d flirt back. Roxy was one such flirt, someone new to my tweet stream who caught my eye during an evening of flirt-storming with some of my regular flirt buddies. Almost two years later, we’re going strong and getting stronger.
Meeting Sinclair Sexsmith at the 2009 NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar party. This past weekend, we got to chat a little at the BUTCH Voices Portland conference like old friends. Sinclair’s blog, Sugarbutch Chronicles, is a major inspiration for Butchtastic, as it was the first blog I read by a butch who wrote about sex the way I would. Sinclair will always be one of my major influences and mentors and I’m glad to count her as a friend now as well.
Meeting Bren Ryder, who I’ve had a bromantic crush on for a long time, at BUTCH Voices Portland. Bren is just as cool and smart and funny and sexy as you’d expect. Bren is the pornographic mastermind behind GoodDykePorn.
Going to New York for the 2009 NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar party. This would never have happened if I hadn’t gotten into sex blogging, and networked amongst others in this part of the bloggosphere. Roxy and I went together and met many of our online friends in the flesh. It was our first trip together away from our homes and it was a very special and amazing time for us. This trip really solidified our partnership.
I won a erotic story contest hosted on Ansley Agnello’s blog and won a Jaguar harness.. which is still my strap-on harness of choice. The cherry on top is that in winning the contest, I beat someone I admire very greatly and who has had a significant influence on me as a blogger. But I’m sworn to secrecy and can’t say who it is 😉
I was named one of the Top Sex Toy Reviewers of 2008
I was number 70 on a list of the 100 Top Sex Bloggers of 2009, and have been nominated for the 2010 list.
I’ve had stories reprinted on other sites and been invited to submit a piece to a print based anthology.
I’ve written 81 Microfantasy Monday stories, posted a Half-Nekkid Thursday picture 98 times, and opened myself up to bleed all over the screen I don’t know how many times. I’ve answered 100 questions via Formspring. So far this year, 26,481 unique readers have visited Butchtastic, with 7,186 returning for more. Over the two year lifetime of the blog, I’ve had over 2,646 comments submitted for 504 posts, covering 52 categories.
I started posting the Suburban Butch Dad Reports, giving readers a view of my home life.
I’ve found friends, allies, mentors and lovers through this blog and I’ve been able to hang out with, get beaten by and become friends with several of them in the flesh.
I’ve connected with people on the topics of gender, polyamory and D/s that I would never have been able to interact with otherwise. Some have told me they felt alone in their feelings until they read something I posted. Those comments and emails are a major reason I want to continue with Butchtastic and find ways to move my activism and outreach beyond the computer screen and into meat space.
Attending the Folsom Street Fair with my Sir, Roxy, and enjoying the splendor and spectacle of kinky, leather, queerness. Getting to play twice during that visit, once with our dear friend, Saynine, combining forces for my first dual-topped scene and first topped by a man.
I was one of the organizers for BUTCH Voices Portland, held last weekend. I had the privilege of working with an outstanding group of people, including Roxy. Along with helping to organize BUTCH Voices Portland, I led a session on Genderqueer identity. That experience was amazing and definitely a highlight of my queer life.
In the future …
I’m going to write a piece on my experiences as a packing genderqueer interacting with Airport Security for Stalled, an anthology being co-edited by a good friend of mine. If successful, this would be the first time I’ve been published on paper in something I didn’t create.
I have several erotic fiction pieces that I’d like to continue and more fully realize. These may end up in anthologies, or published as full length fiction.
I’m going to leverage what I’ve learned through my blog and involvement with BUTCH Voices for some local activism. I’ve made contact with the GSA of the high school I attended. I’m making connections that I hope will result in a local BUTCH Voices style social and discussion group. I’m going to be looking for ways to continue to outreach and educate on the topic of gender, especially from a genderqueer perspective.
What else? Who knows! It seems that every time I look ahead like this, I’m partially right and partially wrong and that some completely new opportunities will present themselves that I never predicted.
Thank you. Thank you for reading, for commenting, for participating in this project. Thank you for being supportive, for being challenging, for being yourselves. Thank you for being inspiring. Even the people who came to criticize, judge and shit on this blog have been inspirational. Thank you for giving me so much, I hope to continue to give you as much as I can, for as long as I can.
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