Fantasizing me

Last night I got off, really hard.  This is the last orgasm I’m allowed until I’m with Sir this coming Saturday.  I made sure it was a good one.  I had the blue plug snug in my ass and the glass cock deep in my cunt and then I turned on the Hitachi.  Physically, it was a very good hard series of orgasms.

Mentally, the scenario I was envisioning was a new one and had some interesting characteristics.

I was in my late teens, kind of a skater punk, wannabe surfer type.  I hung out with other guys like me:  tattooed, pierced, doin’ enough work to get by, not ready to settle down and get serious about life.  The really cool thing was, I was genderqueer and all the other guys knew it.  They treated me like a dude but they knew I had girl parts as well.  There was this one guy I especially liked, knew I was attracted to him and wondered if he felt the same.  We were all heading out of town to check out a new skate park and he offered me a ride.  In his van.  With a mattress in the back.

End of the day, we’ve been partying, naturally he invites me to crash in his van.  With him.  This may seem like a lot of plot, and there is some dialog, but I can do this really fast in my head (or linger over it if I want to).  He and I are in the back of his van, tokin’, and pretty soon I’m sucking him off.  Out of gratitude, of course (yeah right, I’ve been wanting his cock for the longest time).  That led to him fingering me, sucking my nipples and eventually, fucking my pussy.  I returned the favor, rolling him over, licking him from stem to stern before finger fucking his ass.  Oh the moaning, thrusting, gorgeous way he took that fucking.

By this time, my mortal body had spent itself in multiple orgasms and my mind had rewound and replayed favorite bits several times.  As I removed the toys from my holes and cleaned everything up, what I marveled over wasn’t the strength of my orgasms (which was considerable) it was the scenario I’d imagined.  Yeah, the dude sucked my tits and fucked my pussy, but at no point did he treat me like a girl.  I was another dude who just happened to have extra bits to play with.  Yeah, it was my imagination, but it felt good.  I was not integrated well when I was that age.  My identities did not play well with each other, did not mesh well and know each other for what they were.  Imagining myself as a self-aware genderqueer at that age was refreshing, liberating and thrilling.  I was not that self-aware or confident or able to accept what I felt were conflicting erotic desires when I was younger.  Hell, I’m still working on that acceptance now.

It was a good fantasy.  Quite different from my usual fair of dirty, mean truckers taking advantage of a young boy lost at the truck stop.   Definitely a keeper for the wank bank.

 

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2 Responses to Fantasizing me

  1. Roxy says:

    You have amazing fantasies that are worthy of the best writers – where mere mortals just imagine body parts, you have plot and setting and character development, and you end up with damn sexy stories that I love to read and re-read.

    I really enjoyed getting to talk to you about this particular fantasy today. Re-imagining yourself as a more confident, more accepted person is a wonderful way to reconcile your past with what you’ve learned since, and is actually a pretty brave act – you’re reclaiming that younger part of you and it’s really wonderful to see.

    And, ok, imagining a younger you in the back of a van with another guy? Yeah, that’s ok, too. 😉

    Thank you, love, for not only accepting me for all that I am, but celebrating it as well. I can’t overstate how important your love and support have been in this process. I’m glad you haven’t grown tired of it, the evolution doesn’t seem to be slowing down.

    … and I’m glad you get off on my fantasies as well.. I don’t mind sharing that, at all 😉

  2. … things I shouldn’t read in class while in gym shorts

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