Butch, Genderqueer, Genderfluid, Genderfuck and Trans Blogs to watch out for

Note:  this list has been moved to a page of its own and will be updated over time, please check it out.


The other day, I realized I had a hunger for new butch blogs to read.  So I started trolling blogrolls and then realized ‘butch’ doesn’t cover all of what I’m looking for.  What really peaks my interest are people talking about and living outside the gender binary.  Though I started with a blogroll category of “Butches to Watch Out For”, I’ve changed that to “Bend it like …” because what I’m really trying to get at is the gender bending, defying the default gender system in favor of something that works for all of us.

I always feel a thrill when I find new blogs where the authors are exploring gender, pushing the envelope and redefining the definitions.  Because my personal exploration is being done from the perspective of someone who started life female, bloggers who are on similar journeys appeal to me.  I want to compare notes, I want to find new words, new ways of describing the smell, taste, sound and feeling of female-born masculinity.  I now have a pretty good collection, some are friends I’ve met or chatted with, some are blogs I’ve found through the blogrolls of others.  In each case, I’ve found s0me kind of kinship, something I can relate to and learn from.

It’s kind of funny that in the midst of building up my list of butches and others who bravely break stereotypes every day in diverse situations and lives, I found that ridiculous WikiHow article on How to Be a Butch.  Clearly, the authors of that article haven’t met very many butches.  I’m not going to be foolish enough to write a How To guide for butches, but I do invite you to visit these and look for others.

  • Sugarbutch Chronicles:  my gateway into the world of butch blogging and one of the most popular blogs around.  Sinclair Sexsmith’s blog is your guide to sex toys, gender awareness and butch sexuality.  After stalking Sinclair through blog posts and twitter for a long time, was happy to finally meet her in person at the New York Sex Bloggers Calendar Party last November.  Over two years ago, when I discovered Sugarbutch Chronicles, what first caught my attention was the idea of butch erotic writing, which eventually led to the existence of Butchtastic.  Sinclair lent support, practical advice and encouragement and has been a great source of inspiration.  Sinclair tweets as @mrsexsmith.
  • Packing Vocals:  Holden is one of my favorite butch erotic writers, a family guy, a snappy dresser and a good friend.  Married to one of my favorite femmes, Femmeismygender, Holden tweets as @packingvocals.
  • NattNightly:  Natt isn’t blogging as much anymore, but if you love beautiful writing and honest accounts of self-discovery and gender, it’s worth your time to read through the archives.  I’ve been moved to tears more than once, from the sheer painful rawness of some stories and also from a severe case of writer’s envy.  Having met and spent time with this super cool, super smart butch, I can say without question, Natt is very tall and is a lot of fun to hang out with.   Natt tweets as @nattnightly.
  • Just Like Jesse James:  This Seattle butch is an unabashed Cher fan and will also discourse at length on the virtues of the Golden Girls, if you just give her half a chance.  Jesse blogs about Cher, life with her girlfriend and dog and the various other critters who inhabit their lives.  Another blogger I’ve had the good fortune to meet and hang out with in real life, we live close enough to do it again, and we’re gonna, so watch out world.   Jesse James tweets as @justjessejames.
  • Mina Meow/Aiden Fyre:  Depending on when you meet this blogger you might think.. “Wow, hot femme” or “Mmmgrrr, who’s that sexy boi?” and you wouldn’t be wrong either way.  Mina/Aiden is exploring gender thoroughly and with the kind of bravery, poise and intelligence we all should aspire to.  This blogger writes about gender, sexual politics and how it all fits into the life of a “try-sexual”.  I count it as one of the high points of my life that I’ve shared a deep passionate kiss with this hot and sexy blogger (and watched a make-out session with my girlfriend — yes, you should envy me).  Follow on twitter as @aidenfyre and/or @minameow.
  • Butch GirlCat:  Leo McCool isn’t blogging anymore but he was one of the first butch bloggers I gravitated to and fell in love with.  Leo’s sometimes heart-wrenchingly honest stories about love, relationships and the journey to find his gender home are a must read for anyone else trying to find their way between the gender poles.
  • X-Ray Introductions:  I first became aware of Arron when he was my secret Santa recipient and I sent him a cool metal studded belt and belt buckle.  I finally met Arron during a visit to see Roxy in San Francisco.  Over the years, I’ve enjoyed Arron’s video product reviews and stories about life.  Arron tweets as @amok_.
  • The Freezing Flames:  Firebolt is a genderqueer youth living in India, dealing with the challenges of a family that doesn’t get it in a society that really doesn’t get it.  Firebolt is way ahead of where I was at that age, and living under much more trying circumstances, and has my unswerving admiration as a result. Tweets as @fireboltx.
  • Bren Ryder:  Bren is the butch creative genius behind GoodDykePorn and as such, deserves our unending gratitude.   Bren works hard to produce real, hot, queer porn with real queers.   Bren is someone I know I’ll get to meet someday in RL, and I’m really looking forward to that.  Bren tweets as @brenryder.
  • Jess I Am:  Jess is courageous, thoughtful and honest in telling the story of how he went from being a butch to a transman.  Life has handed him a lot of challenges in the past couple of years, but with his wife, Tina, at his side, he’s handled those challenges with grace and strength.  I almost had the privilege of meeting these two during my trip to NYC, but it didn’t work out, but I have a very strong feeling we’ll all meet up at some point in RL.  Jess tweets as @JessIAmBlog.
  • How to Be Butch:  One of the newer blogs on my reader, Harrison doesn’t really try to tell you how to be butch, because, as the banner says “There’s more than one way”.  Instead, you get some fun and insightful posts on Harrison’s exploration of butchness and gender and life.    Harrison tweets as @HarrisonTB.
  • Sartorial Butch:  A blog about butch fashion, the culinary arts and all around butch goodness.  Another of my newer blog habits, SartorialButch is now featured on Butch-Femme.com and tweets as @SartorialButch.
  • She Called Me Superman:  Yondergen’s blog tagline is “writing myself down so I can be found, or followed” and that’s really the goal of most of us who blog, isn’t it?  Yondergen explores the butch-masculine-queer gender mix that is the heart of the matter for me as well.  Plus baking, relationships, the quandaries of how to express and understand it all.
  • Musings from the High Speed Rodeo:  Rhett’s writing is rapid and rhythmic, filled with great observations, honesty and humor.  Rhett is the Asphalt Cowboy, go on over there, y’all, you’re in for a great ride.
  • Can I Help You, Sir?:  Going by the initial, G, this butch blogs about gender, butchness and identity.  G tweets as @canihelpyousir and has (had?) a regular feature called the Swoon List.
  • Lesbian Dad:  I’ve had the Lesbian Dad on my reader for a long time.  LD writes about her family, posts the sweetest pictures of her daughter and son and talks about parenting, politics and popular culture.  My Suburban Butch Dad Reports were inspired by the Lesbian Dad.   Follow her tweets @LesbianDad.
  • The Butchelor:  another brave, honest blog from the perspective of a butch lesbian starting to come out as trans.  Even though I’m not trans, I find myself relating to guys like this who are born in a body that doesn’t completely match who they are on the inside.   It’s personal, it’s real, you should check it out.  Tweets as @thebutchelor.
  • Break It Down, Butch:  a blog I’ve discovered recently written by a butch who isn’t afraid to get it all out there.  I appreciate the passion and honesty of this blogger and look forward to reading more.
  • Transitional Life (Life in Transition):  Emmett takes us on his journey from butch to trans complete with family drama, changes brought on by testosterone, new names and the other challenges of life.  Emmett is a lovely guy, wonderful with animals (he’s a vet tech) and people (especially kids, kids love him) and I wish him all the best as he continues on his journey.  He’s got a YouTube channel, labradork1 where he’s been tracking the changes brought on by his transition.  Emmett tweets as @friendtopups.
  • Butch Boo:  BB is one of my earliest readers, a Brit Butch Blogger in London who recently posted a lovely grouping of pictures featuring butch footwear.
  • A Gender Queer View:  Natasha Yar-Routh’s place on the web.  A married gender queer trans-woman who posts short little nuggets of political observation and thoughts on life.  Tweets as @xiomberg.
  • Gender Me Softly:  The only couple-authored blog on my list, this blog is brand new, they just started this month.  T. J.  and Rhylee Flint share love, lives and blog space.  Thad is a butch, likes the word ‘queer’ (so do I) and enjoys cultivating a masculine look through binding and packing.  Rhylee is a queer female who’s exploring her gender and gender expression from a more femme perspective.
  • Gender Outlaw:  this is a blog chronicling Joshua Riverdale’s  FTM journey.  Even though transitioning isn’t for me, I’ve learned a lot from his blog entries, videos and tweets, and appreciate his wit and intelligence.  If you are curious about transitioning, or looking for genderqueer related resources (think binding, packing, etc), consider this blog and his website, transguys.com, as great starting points for the personal stories and resources.  He’s got some of the best sideburns ever.. I’m totally having some envy over those.  Josh tweets as @transguys.
  • Genderfork:  this is a community blog, who’s mission is to support community for the expression of identities across the gender spectrum.  They tweet as @genderfork and post profiles of genderqueer/fluid/variant folks.
  • Get Off My Lawn:  wow.. now that’s a pretty grumpy blog title.  Read the About Me and see a lot of bullet points.. this blogger loves bullet points, and was highly influenced by popular culture icons such as Matlock, Hank Hill and Mulder and Scully.  As grumpy as the blog title is, I find this blogger highly amusing and fun to read, go check it out and see if you feel the same way.  Tweets as @benjamin_bex.
  • Just a Big Guy with a Fun Sense of Sin:  S. Bear Bergman’s Live Journal.  I got to see Bear on a book reading tour with Ivan Coyote, and bought his book “The Nearest Exit May be Behind You” that night.  Bear is a transman, new father and a gifted story teller.  Bear tweets as @sbearbergman.
  • Visibly Transparent:  Bear’s husband, Ishai, has a Live Journal as well.  He carried their son Stanley and I can relate to his stories about the fertility clinic, pregnancy, birth and parenting.
  • Love Kills Slowly (tumblr):  tumblr account of Val, known on twitter as @rugby8.  Val posts pictures of sexy women, and the occasional quote.
  • somewhere in the middle:  Nezu says it best “This is my place for looking at the middle ground of gender identity and sexual preference. And who knows, probably other stuff, too.”  I’ve just begun to explore this writer’s musings about butchness, gender, identity and relationships.
  • TG Stone Butch Journal:   Corey Alexander is a well-known queer kink/sex educator and writer.  He can be found all over the country at conferences teaching and speaking on topics as diverse as polyamory, butch faggot play, stone sexuality and a myriad of other topics around gender and sexuality.  Corey tweets as @tgstonebutch, look for his queer BDSM erotica under the nom de plum, Xan West.
  • The Man Sam:  Son of T:  Former female Sam Peterson tells all in this blog about transition.  Looking forward to his chest reconstruction surgery thanks to ChestFest2010, Matt is wonderfully honest, funny and self-deprecating — a combination I particularly enjoy.  Follow him on twitter as @ThaManSam.
  • Transfaggotry:  Faggot Boi blogs about pronoun anxiety, leaving the lesbian identity behind, and other topics around becoming trans.
  • Transifesto:  Matt Kailey’s place on the web.  Matt shares information and his thoughts on transgender and transsexual issues.  He’s a nationally recognized speaker and author on transgender issues and tweets as @MattKailey.
  • Androgynanomous: DPR (Dread Pirate Roberts) is the sweetheart of one of my favorite online people, Scintillectual.  DPR just started blogging not long ago, but has already established a rhythm with poetry, musings on gender and sweet, sensual tributes to her lover.  Tweets as @dread_pyrate.

This is the list so far, I like the length and heft of it (heh!) and I really like the diversity.  The bloggers on this list have a stories to tell, experiences to share and I will continue to learn a lot from them.  The breadth of this group, from the more female identified butch to the more male identified trans, meet the needs I have to explore the many facets and identities within me.  There are some super smart people on this list, and funny too… great writers, open-hearted honest people, sometimes frustrated, but trying to make the world a better place for themselves and others.   It may be hubris on my part to count myself as one of them, but these people have nurtured, coached and supported my journey as well.  Even if we don’t make the same decisions, or come to the same conclusions, we’re all asking the same kind of questions, and questioning the same assumptions.

I encourage you to visit these blogs, read their stories and add them to your regular rotation if they appeal to you.  And if I’ve left someone out, someone you think would fit into this list, please be so kind as to introduce me to them.


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20 Responses to Butch, Genderqueer, Genderfluid, Genderfuck and Trans Blogs to watch out for

  1. Roxy says:

    The ongoing conversation you have with your friends and readers is really wonderful – I love how open you are with your experience and others’. I read and enjoy most of the blogs on your list, and I’m looking forward to reading the few that are new to me. Thank you for putting it together – it’s a wonderful resource and a great way to discover new voices.

  2. Johnny says:

    kyle, oh my god, you have no idea how much that meant to me. not ten minutes ago i was feeling totally down and unloved, and now….it’s just amazing how the little things do so much.

    thanks. 🙂

  3. Johnny says:

    also, i feel completely honored to be listed among all these awesome people.

  4. Rhylee says:

    Thank you so much for including our blog among your list. Thad and I are fighting our way through this life the best we can and are hoping our experiences can help out a few others in their journeys. I look forward to checking out a few of the others on your list. I already read Sinclair and Jessie James and Roxy.
    Thanks again,

  5. Holden says:

    Wow Kyle great list, well done for putting it together. There are a few on here I wasn’t aware of and will be giving them a visit. And thanks for your very kind words my friend. 🙂

  6. Blazer says:

    Thanks for sharing this list. Some of these blogs I already read but there are some that are new to me and I am excited about taking a look. I am going to suggest one other, DPR’s blog is a mix of her incredible poetry, tributes to her fiance and stories of her life journey of walking that fine line between commonly accepted genders. Her blog is at http://androgynonamous.wordpress.com/ , I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

  7. Kyle,

    Thank you so much for putting us up on this list. It means a great deal to me. I’ll be sure to give every blog on your list a try. This community is so amazingly vast and that makes it feel like we are few and far between. Thank you for helping s all to come a little closer to each other.

    Thad J. Flynt.

  8. Kyle, I’d like you to meet DPR (the infamous Dread Pirate Roberts) at http://www.androgynonamous.wordpress.com

    My baby boi, butch daddy, lover, and future husbitch is as butch as butch gets (with a soft heart and a poet’s pen). She writes of gender ambiguity and walking between worlds. I hope you’ll add her to your list. 😉

  9. LOL! Clearly I need to read all of the comments before I write any as Blazer already introduced you to my beloved. Hope you enjoy!

  10. DK says:


    Joining the ranks of the seriously honored feeling. I especially enjoyed the little blurbs you put next to each link — I wanted to roll around in mine with glee. You’re good for the ego! *grins*

    I also want to suggest two more blogs for you:

    JB over at Femmemobile — obviously not a butch, as the name’ll tell you, but she writes about us with beautiful insight, and also about femme issues, gender issues, her own life, and a whole bunch of other stuff. She’s a fantastically smart lady, a lot of fun to read, and very good at making you think.

    Nezu at somewhere in the middle, is another one. She started out between butch and femme and very uncertain, and has been edging more and more towards butch,chronicling her journey the entire way. It makes for an excellent read.

    And now I’m going to check out every link on your list. 😀

    DK, thanks for the recommendation on Femmemobile and if you look down the list a bit, you’ll find Nezu 🙂

    Thanks for being another out butch on the web and keep doing what you’re doing.

  11. Cara says:

    I’ve been thinking about starting a blog for the longest time… And I finally made one.
    So many ideas, but my mind seems to have gone blank. I think I’m overwhelmed and VERY intimidated by all the amazing bloggers I read and their stories…
    Any advice for a newbie?

    It really depends on what you want to communicate through your blog. And even that can evolve over time. So to get started, just write. Write about why you wanted to start a blog, write about blogs you like to read. Blog about incidents that happen during the day that make you think. The old adage is, write what you know, and I think that’s the best rule. Write about you: who you are, how you think, what you want out of life.

  12. lescook says:

    great list! now I’m going to spend my day off reading 🙂

  13. Firebolt says:

    Kyle, this is an awesome list! Some I know of and some I don’t, but I will soon. Thanks for including me and for sharing this with us.
    P.S. I came out to my family a couple of days ago. My parents are still a bit shocked and confused but they love me and stand with me. I know we will make it through. 🙂

    oh, well done on coming out. I was 18 when I came out to my parents, too. I admire you greatly for making that move and I’m really glad it turned out well. You are fortunate, my friend, and I’m sure you know that.

  14. Cara says:

    I hope you check me out in the future! It would make my femme heart flutter for one of my favorite bloggers to take a look sometime

  15. Wow! This is an amazing list!

    Thank you, Kyle for taking the time to create this great resource (and for including me; it’s a huge honor for sure)!

    I’m already fan of many of these folks, and I look forward to adding a ton of new blogs to my Reader 🙂

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  17. Nezu says:

    Thanks for the shout, bro! Awesome resource list. I really appreciate it.


  18. G says:

    Thanks for the mention, and thanks for listing some I haven’t checked out yet. Damn fine job listing them out for us.

    I don’t do the Swoon List anymore (it ran it’s course, and others have picked up the slack), but I still regularly blog about, well, random shit.

    G, thanks and yeah, it looked like the SL had petered out. I would like this to be a ‘living list’ and will continue to add to it and republish to bring it back on the readers. I may make it a separate resource page, actually.. what do you think about that?

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  20. Harrison T.B. says:

    I wish my approach to blogging weren’t so haphazard. Then I would never forget to say thank you.

    Thank you! And to everyone in this small community of bitch bloggers who has been so kind to welcome me with open arms. I appreciate it. A lot.

    You are very welcome, Harrison. And I’m gonna assume you meant ‘butch bloggers’ 😉

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