Every week a group of us bloggers looks to Ang, the Sweltering Celt, for our Microfantasy Monday prompt. Â This week she gave us “Service“.
I didn’t expect to be in this position. Â I guess in retrospect, I can see a clue here and a glimmer of it there along my life’s journey. Â But, honestly, if you’d asked me two or more years ago if I’d take my kink with a side of submissiveness, I’d have given you a quizzical, slightly dirty look and declared you full of shit.
So it’s with a bemused chuckle that I consider my upcoming visit to see Roxy. Â We’ve done kink and we’ve played power games, we’ve restrained each other and made marks. We still switch, but there’s an element to our play that’s gotten more serious, a bit more formal. Â In fact, it’s not really play anymore, I can’t deny it any more. Â I belong to Her. Â She is my Sir and will collar me during this visit. Â We don’t have a 24/7 D/s relationship, but this aspect of us has become important, exciting, challenging and a way for us to become closer, to learn more about ourselves and each other.
So where’s the fantasy, you ask? Â It’s in looking forward, imagining Her warm, strong hands placing that collar around my neck, stroking my hair and saying wonderful things to me. Â I’m imagining the feeling in my belly and the tingle in my brain when She clips the leash to my collar, pulls on it, testing it, testing me. Â I’ve told Her about my fears, my nervous excitement. Â I don’t fear pain, I don’t fear the flogger or the paddle or being cuffed to the cross. Â I’m scaredthrilledexcited about being exposed in front of strangers. Â I know I can meet the physical challenges and I hope I can meet the psychological ones. Â The biggest fear I have is in disappointing Her, in not being the best boy I can possibly be for her. Â She’s done Her best to reassure me.
I am fascinated at the change in me, fascinated that with just a few calm words from Her will have me doing anything She asks, begging for more opportunities to show Her how much I love Her, how much I want to serve Her. Â The idea that a piece of leather and some metal placed around my neck will transform me seems a bit ridiculous.. or did until recently. Â It’s as if She’s unlocked a hidden place inside me, found something I was hiding from myself, because the idea of wearing that collar and doing anything She asks of me suddenly fits, slides into place with a ‘click’ and makes something in me more whole than it was before.
I realize you came here looking for a fantasy, some sexy smut, some new exploration of kink. Â Maybe I should apologize, but I won’t. Â This is my fantasy coming true.
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