Microfantasy Monday, week 61: Service

Every week a group of us bloggers looks to Ang, the Sweltering Celt, for our Microfantasy Monday prompt.  This week she gave us “Service“.

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I didn’t expect to be in this position.  I guess in retrospect, I can see a clue here and a glimmer of it there along my life’s journey.   But, honestly, if you’d asked me two or more years ago if I’d take my kink with a side of submissiveness, I’d have given you a quizzical, slightly dirty look and declared you full of shit.

So it’s with a bemused chuckle that I consider my upcoming visit to see Roxy.  We’ve done kink and we’ve played power games, we’ve restrained each other and made marks. We still switch, but there’s an element to our play that’s gotten more serious, a bit more formal.   In fact, it’s not really play anymore, I can’t deny it any more.  I belong to Her.  She is my Sir and will collar me during this visit.  We don’t have a 24/7 D/s relationship, but this aspect of us has become important, exciting, challenging and a way for us to become closer, to learn more about ourselves and each other.

So where’s the fantasy, you ask?  It’s in looking forward, imagining Her warm, strong hands placing that collar around my neck, stroking my hair and saying wonderful things to me.  I’m imagining the feeling in my belly and the tingle in my brain when She clips the leash to my collar, pulls on it, testing it, testing me.  I’ve told Her about my fears, my nervous excitement.  I don’t fear pain, I don’t fear the flogger or the paddle or being cuffed to the cross.  I’m scaredthrilledexcited about being exposed in front of strangers.  I know I can meet the physical challenges and I hope I can meet the psychological ones.  The biggest fear I have is in disappointing Her, in not being the best boy I can possibly be for her.  She’s done Her best to reassure me.

I am fascinated at the change in me, fascinated that with just a few calm words from Her will have me doing anything She asks, begging for more opportunities to show Her how much I love Her, how much I want to serve Her.  The idea that a piece of leather and some metal placed around my neck will transform me seems a bit ridiculous.. or did until recently.   It’s as if She’s unlocked a hidden place inside me, found something I was hiding from myself, because the idea of wearing that collar and doing anything She asks of me suddenly fits, slides into place with a ‘click’ and makes something in me more whole than it was before.

I realize you came here looking for a fantasy, some sexy smut, some new exploration of kink.  Maybe I should apologize, but I won’t.  This is my fantasy coming true.

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