It’s not surprising that I’m tired most of the time and that my blogging productivity has gone down in the past couple of months, having a newborn in the house tends to have that effect. Â So I spend most of my days wandering aroundÂ in a dazeÂ Â (mentally, least, my body isn’t moving around all that much) . Â This week seems particularly bad as my sinuses are under pressure, contributing to headaches, itchy ears and dry irritated eyes. Â My mental processes are minimally functional, grinding to a complete halt most afternoons. Â As I put it to my team in our status meeting today, my mental train is off its tracks.
And you know, I should probably do something about it, like get more sleep or something. Â That makes perfect sense, is completely reasonable and a rational being like myself should be able to grab on to that solution and execute. Â Unfortunately, however, my addiction to getting things done doesn’t respond well to rational arguments like that.
I mean, I’ve got stuff to do, ya know? Â There’s family stuff and personal stuff and stuff for and with lovers. Â There are tons of nagging tasks around the house that need to be done, and have needed doing for a while. Â There are the projects I want to get to, but feel like I can’t do until I finish other stuff. Â And then there are the things my wife has been asking for forever but I’ve been putting off. Â There are stories waiting to be written, pictures waiting to be taken, creative enterprises of all kinds gathering dust in heaps in my mind.
I have this silly habit of thinking the weekend will make all the difference, that if I can just make it to the weekend, I can get a handle on my ‘to do’ list, my ‘honey do’ list and ‘I want to do’ list. Â I forget one critical factor: Â sleepÂ deprivation.
It’ll be easier once soccer season is over and I’m not storming around a field for an hour an a half each Saturday. Â That afternoon and evening is generally spent eating and napping to recover from the game. Â I then have a briefÂ resurgenceÂ of energy which is usually spent hanging out with my daughters, doing some housework andÂ dinking around on my computer.
Sunday is the day I can sleep in and I usually feel refreshed and energetic and try to do too many things which leaves me pooped out by Sunday evening. Â If I’m lucky, I was able to accomplish something tangible, something beyond just keeping up with dishes and basic housework. Â And then we’re back to Monday again. Â I need another fricken weekend day.
As much as I love the idea of being kidnapped by a lover and taken away for days and nights of rapturous love making and exploration of our darkest kinks, this week I’d gratefully accept being kidnapped and tossed into a room with a bed and pillows and dark and quiet. Â I know, that’s not in keeping with my Casanova image but honestly, right now, I need sleep or I’m gonna start coming apart at the seams. Â It’s quite possible I’ll have to let go of the driven Type A steering wheel for a bit and let some hours go by without being productive. Â The alternative is probably worse.
And.. if you see me being lured into stranger’s cars with blankies and pillows.. well.. just let me go, ok?
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