Thinking about Butch Space

Roxy attended Butch Voices this past weekend, and I was very excited for her as well as very, very envious. I crave the company and support and camaraderie of my butch brethren. This desire to hang and swap stories and be social with other masculine-identified-female-born folk isn’t a new thing, but the need is building. And I think it’s time I did something about it.

I’m going to try to start a butch social group. My idea is to invite others who identify as butch to hang out with me.  I’m interested in trading war stories, talking about how we express our masculinity and how it’s being received in our lives.  The topic of FTM transitioning is also one worth opening the floor  to.   Whether we’re interested in transitioning ourselves or not, there’s a lot we can relate to with transguys — we’re all trying to figure out how to express masculinity in a way that works for us.

Lots of practical things come to mind, too, like sharing information on where to shop for men’s clothing that fits our bodies and where we feel supported in our shopping efforts. Or helping other butches learn practical skills like tie tying and find resources on where to shop for packing cocks and other butch-cessories. And, of course, it would be a space where we could talk about relationships, friendships, families, and anything else that comes up.

I know this kind of thing needs to start small, manageable and not too time consuming. So maybe a monthly gathering of some kind, at a bar, or somewhere for butch brunch, or in someone’s backyard for a butch barbeque. Eventually, maybe we could organize to have speakers, go to events, or organize for gender and queer issues. But in the beginning, just having a group of guys I can socialize with would be nice.  I’m going to post to some community websites and create flyers for some local haunts once I get it figured out.

I don’t know how many of my readers who are butch identified live nearby, but if you are somewhere in the South Sound area of Washington State and this kind of social group is of interest to you, please leave a comment or send me email at  And, if you’ve done something like this and want to share information and experiences, please consider emailing me as well.

For more info on Butch Voices, visit  There’s also a Facebook group, a Twitter account, a Myspace page and a LiveJournal presence.

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4 Responses to Thinking about Butch Space

  1. Eliot says:

    Great idea, Kyle. I hope you’re able to get something going. Good luck to ya. 🙂

    thank you 🙂

  2. sxychikadee says:

    Great idea Kyle. We have a “social group” here that meets weekly at a “family-friendly” place to play pool, just hang out and talk. It is mostly butches that meet there. One thing here though…butches aren’t really FTM friendly here. Of course, this is a generalization – but in my experience, I have yet to meet a butch who is open to including FTM people in the group. It’s kinda sad actually.
    *Disclaimer: this is pre coffee*

    Thank you. I am also sensitive to the potential sensitivity others might have about mixing butch space with FTM space. I don’t know how that desire to be inclusive will be received here, either. I’m sure there are butches who would see a transguy as no longer part of the club, as I’m sure there are transguys who don’t see themselves as butches, they see themselves as men.

    I’m not sure yet how I’m going to promote the group locally. I’m happy hanging with anyone who identifies as butch and wants to hang out with other butches, regardless the other labels they wear. Though to be clear, I know the gay male community sometimes uses ‘butch’ to describe very masculine guys and my idea is geared toward female-born masculinity, so I guess I am being somewhat exclusive 🙂

  3. Susanne says:

    and then those of us who love butches will just follow you guys at a discrete distance….

  4. Emmett says:

    Sounds like a great idea! You certainly need some male camaraderie in your female-centric life… Wish I were close enough to join you…

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