she knows me, too

I stand,
jangling, disparate parts
sometimes smoothly fitting
and harmonious,
sometimes a discordant mass of confused motives and
traitorous impulses.
She sees me struggle to live up
to my ideals,
not give in
to my selfish, petty wants
and she sees me fail
and try again

she fears what I know about her
the secrets I’m privy to
the honesty I demand from her
she fears that I see her and that
her imperfections will
drive me away
but I know her
and I still love her
 

but doesn’t she also know me?
I no longer shine with unnatural light
my chrome a bit tarnished
my leather worn, showing its age
loose threads visible, fabric fraying
tongue babbling nonsense
when rattled in my shell

I may know what she hides
behind her veils and special effects
but she knows that behind
my brave front
I’m not always brave
I don’t always walk
with calm assurance
I need her light shining on me,
filling and rebuilding me
she knows me
and she still loves me
too

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