Awesome Friday: Roxy visit and packing

Yes, it is Awesome Friday.. ‘Good’ just doesn’t come close to describing how I feel about today.  That hot Californicator will soon be on a plane, flying up to visit me.  Fly safe, baby, I want you whole and healthy when I assault you.

I’m also packing at work today for the first time.  I’ve packed at home, on weekends and evenings.  Today just felt like the day to step it up, I’m in the mood.  Roxy has asked me before how I feel when I pack, if I feel more complete or something.  I know others, Holden, for example, feel more complete when packing.  I do, too, but not the way I imagined I would.  Hmm, let me try to explain.  I used to wonder if maybe I would feel more masculine if I packed.  Would I feel the male side of me more strongly or would I feel like a missing part of me was finally present again?  But that’s not really it for me.  I don’t feel more masculine, anymore than I feel more feminine without it.  I do feel more complete, more me, less fragmented, but it’s not male vs. female.  It’s my genderqueerness that feels more complete, more satisfied, when I pack.  I’m not trying to pass as a guy today, I want to be who I am:  not completely male or female, genderqueered.  I’m the guy with boobs and a bulge.  And I’m more myself every day.

Happy Awesome Friday, friends.. have a great weekend.

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