Tweet Geek Sex

Today in Twitterville, the geeky pervs were heard cooking up some trouble:

me: right now I so desperately wish I could Apparate into @sroxy’s shower .. the things we do in IM need to be done in reality

@sroxy: @ButchtasticKyle Geek me, baby. 🙂

me: @sroxy INSERT INTO #kyles_pants SELECT sroxy FROM far_away

me: @sroxy course right now it’s more like INSERT INTO roxy_shower SELECT kyle FROM wa WHERE kyle_horny = true

@sroxy: @ButchtasticKyle Um…isn’t kyle_horny more of a constant, love? That truth test was rigged… 😉

me: @sroxy well.. i could have said ‘WHERE 1 = 1″ which is my standard for ALL THE DAMNED TIME

me: @sroxy so maybe ‘WHERE roxy_location = shower’ .. just so I time it correctly

me: and why the hell shouldn’t i be able to use my massive SQL skills to transport myself to @sroxy’s shower?

@onyx93: @ButchtasticKyle Using SQL to teleport yourself? You just earned MASSIVE geek points

me: @Onyx93 I worry a little bit about lag time, and the whole thing timing out.. I might have to compress myself

me: @onyx93 so I’d best provide @sroxy with a decompressing script..

@onyx93: @ButchtasticKyle ROTFL. Yeah we can’t have you stay compressed for too long

@sroxy: @ButchtasticKyle “Insert (Kyle) into roxy” needs to be set permanently to true. 😉

@mindtechnica: @ButchtasticKyle but if you use a Quantum processor, it will go real fast…. or you could end up like Dr. Manhattan #Watchman

me: @mindtechnica yeah, this needs to be handled carefully, so many ways it can go wrong #Watchman

@sroxy: Hmmm…am all naked and warm and wet from the shower. What to do, what to do…. 😉

me: @sroxy goddddddddddddammmmmmmmmnnnnnnnn itttttttttt baaaaaaby

me: @sroxy you turn me into a hot mess when you talk like that

@sroxy: @ButchtasticKyle Whatcha gonna do about it, love? 😉

me: @sroxy fucking SQL isn’t working.. bet the fricken DBAs have permissions set so i can’t teleport myself.. fucking DBAs always ruining my fun

me: ** shakes fist in direction of DBAs *** why you gotta get in the way of my booty call? huh?

me: Is it because you don’t get any? is that my fault?

@onyx93: @ButchtasticKyle Blame the DBAs…I know it’s not a problem with the systems…our servers are running perfectly….ahem

me: @sroxy take pictures baby, lots and lots of pictures showing me just how much you want to ‘INSERT kyle INTO sroxy’

me: i’ve never gotten so hot because of SQL in my life

@lostgirley:  @ButchtasticKyle WHERE DISTINCT?

@Onyx93: @ButchtasticKyle I’ve said it before…DBAs are bitter, hostile people

me: @sroxy you ARE SO THAT KIND OF GIRL, now take the pictures and send them to me.. you lusty hot wench you

@lostgirley: @ButchtasticKyle Well no, I thought you might want to INSERT INTO WHERE DISTINCT. 😉 But that was just my guess.

@lostgirley:  @ButchtasticKyle And you have the best SQL tips.

@lostgirley:  @ButchtasticKyle Be careful with those JOIN and UNION clauses though. 😉

@lostgirley:  @ButchtasticKyle We’ve turned SQL dirty, anything else is easy at this point. 😉

@onyx93: @ButchtasticKyle you just took the concept of SQL injections to a whole new level

What a buncha fun tweeps I hang out with everyday online.  I want to just run this query on days like this

INSERT INTO #party SELECT twitter_name FROM twitterville WHERE (twitter_peep IS pervy AND twitter_peep IS geeky)

This content is published under the Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported license.