Today in Twitterville, the geeky pervs were heard cooking up some trouble:
me: right now I so desperately wish I could Apparate into @sroxy’s shower .. the things we do in IM need to be done in reality
@sroxy: @ButchtasticKyle Geek me, baby. 🙂
me: @sroxy INSERT INTO #kyles_pants SELECT sroxy FROM far_away
me: @sroxy course right now it’s more like INSERT INTO roxy_shower SELECT kyle FROM wa WHERE kyle_horny = true
@sroxy: @ButchtasticKyle Um…isn’t kyle_horny more of a constant, love? That truth test was rigged… 😉
me: @sroxy well.. i could have said ‘WHERE 1 = 1″ which is my standard for ALL THE DAMNED TIME
me: @sroxy so maybe ‘WHERE roxy_location = shower’ .. just so I time it correctly
me: and why the hell shouldn’t i be able to use my massive SQL skills to transport myself to @sroxy’s shower?
@onyx93: @ButchtasticKyle Using SQL to teleport yourself? You just earned MASSIVE geek points
me: @Onyx93 I worry a little bit about lag time, and the whole thing timing out.. I might have to compress myself
me: @onyx93 so I’d best provide @sroxy with a decompressing script..
@onyx93: @ButchtasticKyle ROTFL. Yeah we can’t have you stay compressed for too long
@sroxy: @ButchtasticKyle “Insert (Kyle) into roxy” needs to be set permanently to true. 😉
@mindtechnica: @ButchtasticKyle but if you use a Quantum processor, it will go real fast…. or you could end up like Dr. Manhattan #Watchman
me: @mindtechnica yeah, this needs to be handled carefully, so many ways it can go wrong #Watchman
@sroxy: Hmmm…am all naked and warm and wet from the shower. What to do, what to do…. 😉
me: @sroxy goddddddddddddammmmmmmmmnnnnnnnn itttttttttt baaaaaaby
me: @sroxy you turn me into a hot mess when you talk like that
@sroxy: @ButchtasticKyle Whatcha gonna do about it, love? 😉
me: @sroxy fucking SQL isn’t working.. bet the fricken DBAs have permissions set so i can’t teleport myself.. fucking DBAs always ruining my fun
me: ** shakes fist in direction of DBAs *** why you gotta get in the way of my booty call? huh?
me: Is it because you don’t get any? is that my fault?
@onyx93: @ButchtasticKyle Blame the DBAs…I know it’s not a problem with the systems…our servers are running perfectly….ahem
me: @sroxy take pictures baby, lots and lots of pictures showing me just how much you want to ‘INSERT kyle INTO sroxy’
me: i’ve never gotten so hot because of SQL in my life
@lostgirley:Â @ButchtasticKyle WHERE DISTINCT?
@Onyx93: @ButchtasticKyle I’ve said it before…DBAs are bitter, hostile people
me: @sroxy you ARE SO THAT KIND OF GIRL, now take the pictures and send them to me.. you lusty hot wench you
@lostgirley: @ButchtasticKyle Well no, I thought you might want to INSERT INTO WHERE DISTINCT. 😉 But that was just my guess.
@lostgirley:Â @ButchtasticKyle And you have the best SQL tips.
@lostgirley:Â @ButchtasticKyle Be careful with those JOIN and UNION clauses though. 😉
@lostgirley:Â @ButchtasticKyle We’ve turned SQL dirty, anything else is easy at this point. 😉
@onyx93: @ButchtasticKyle you just took the concept of SQL injections to a whole new level
What a buncha fun tweeps I hang out with everyday online.Â I want to just run this query on days like this
INSERT INTO #party SELECT twitter_name FROM twitterville WHERE (twitter_peep IS pervy AND twitter_peep IS geeky)
This content is published under the Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported license.
5 Responses to Tweet Geek Sex